you and i both know that slow loris isn't the coolest girl on the block.
she isn't computer savy, and can barely figure out how to use the basic photoshop that came on her computer.
her web site isn't clever or flashy.
her shirts are displayed as simple scans, without giving the slightest inclination of how they are positioned on the shirt.
she has a blogspot for god's sake, if that didn't say enough..
BUT, i must say, in the entire year slowshirts has been on the internet, NEVER, EVER has there been so many strangers peeking around this place. this simple, not so clever place.

let's see october 8th was it?
yes.
i was complaining about the low, low number of people visiting slowshirts.
ELEVEN in one day, an all time low.
but yesterDAY, why 239 people stopped by! and since midnight? why 78 already!


many thanks go to justin fines at demo design for posting a link at newstoday.

i was wondering why i had so much web traffic,
and then found out the photo i submitted three years ago to designiskinky was finally up...

go check it out here:

 http://www.designiskinky.com/mugshot/mugshots.php3  

*HEY!

all of you livejournal people, (nobabies, jorgeregula and many other's) i want to thank you.
by linking me to your sites you have you have upped slowshirt traffic 300%. !
now, none of you bought anything, but that's not the point. i just appreciate your eyes, browsing on through..
thankyouisay. and if i had a links page, why, i'd link to you too.
but i don't.

so i can't.


last night melody, mariah and i carved pumpkins.
we then followed this carving partay by roasting and eating ALL the seeds from the THREEpumpkin's we carved.

and today,
i have shit THREEpumpkin's worth of seeds.
but hot damn!
it's all worth it.

..and girls? how do you feel?




OOOH! that gives me an idea! october button special!

the first five people to email me with the sentence "my how the pumpkin seeds burn" in the subject bar,
will get " 3free-shinynew-buttons!" that's a,.... hmm let's see here, .30 cents for parts, 6.5 cents for labor, a 5 cent envelope, 3 minutes of my time, 10 cents to the homeless and wine fund, postage, SHIT!
THAT's A dollar and some odd cent VALUE! don't pass this up.
america loves free!
and so do you unitedkingdom!
...soft punch to the chin...
get in here you!

hey kendall-wishy-neck! shout out!
how's the art farm going?

I have purchased a button machine that will be delivered to my front door any day now.
slow loris buttons will soon be for sale.
howaboutthat.
buttons.

psssssst!
threadless is going to print the microscope t shirt i submitted to their site.
this is still a secret though, so don't tell anyone yet.
*more later*


meanwhile, back in the slo lo garage... i have a new design printed.
it's the same as the poster i have up for sale (which is now out of stock)
the only difference is there is an old tape recorder drawn below the letter bubble on the t shirt.
i've only printed 30 or so on navy blue t shirts and also on some navy sweatshirts.
it won't be posted on the site for a few ? so this is your chance to grab it first.
if you want one, i have s, m , L and xL available.
the sweatshirts are also only twenty bucks (same as the tee's) this month. then when i post the actual design on the site they will go up to 25.. so if you trust me, even though you can't view the actual design (once again, see the poster i have up at the site, and then add a drawing of a tape recorder) you should take advantage of this fabulous deal.
to do this, just order any ol' shirt off the site in the correct size, and in the "special instructions" section of your order form (this is the key, don't forget this part) write "i want the mystery shirt" and i will sent you one in the size you submitted.
i will also include a special "good job prize" with your order for following instructions so well...

i'm #2! i'm #2!
i got second place in the yayhooray.com t shirt competition.
i'm pretty surprised.
i never win anything, but i guess THIS IS keeping up with the tradition, i mean it is SECOND place.
i'm #2! i'm #2!

so i was printing t shirts today in my garage when i heard a loud rumble.
it was Yosarian Day stopping by on his way home from work to say hello on his motorcycle!

"so jess," he said. "i wanted to see if you wanted to go on a ride around the block?"

of course i said "YES!!!" and i grabbed my bicycle helmut, slapped on my leg warmer's, scarf and my warm multi colored vest and we were off.

now to you who don't know, i have NEVER EVER BEEN on a motorcyle before, so i was a little scared. i've had a long fascination and love/lust with the motorcyle, (they're me favorite thing to draw and print on t shirts..) but have never had the chance to ride one, surprised?

well, i lost my scarf somewhere on edens road between the cow pasture and the crossroads, but it was sooooo much fun! holy shit, i'm addicted. i bet my reoccurring dream about taking apart my dad's green plastic lawn mower and building a shiny motorcyle out it's remains will resurface tonight while i sleep.

did i mention IGOTTORIDEONAMOTORCYCLETODAY? well idid.

wow. only eleven people visited slowshirts today. E-L-E-V-E-N.!!!

i suck.

maybe it's time to beg...?

"i know the summer season is drawing to a close, BUT PLEASE STILL BUY MY T-SHIRTS! "
(this way, i can buy a hundred hooded sweatshirts to print on and sell back to you, wouldn't you like that?)

...and yes. i know this plea is a shot in the dark seeing as though only "E-L-E-V-E-N" people are reading it.

go11!

if anyone could PLEASe TELL Me WHY i have been sneezing ALL DAy, i would be forever thankful.

insomnia.

time to make a list.

what i found at the thrift stores this weekend:

(i'm hoping this will take the place of counting sheep)

1.red, white and turquoise striped sheets and orange, yellow and blue striped pillowcases. how very patriotic of me?
2. a strange lamp of a drunk hobo who's nose lights up.
3. a leather bag without sides i'll use for carrying firewood.
4.pre-made educational slides of plants to go with my microscope.
5. the "solid gold music trivia" game
6.earrings that look like a pair of fishing lures
7. a roll of never been opened contact paper with a fake linoleum print.
8.a picture puzzle of a deer in the forest
9.driving gloves that are skin color..ugly as shit, but soo comfortable!
10. a book about the history of the camera.

the end

NOT ONLY is stephen adding new photo's, but he's adding them to the new slowshirts web site!
it's being made exactly one year to the day slow loris shirts decided to go high tech and get a site.

i asked a few friends to go to the address of where the new site is sitting and have a look around, and each person had a problem.

first there was aaron, now he's a little slow, so i don't take what he says to heart often. he said it took a long time for the photo on the front page to load. i informed him that it wasn't just "a photo", but 38 photo's and if he had clicked the arrow's above the picture he could have flipped thru them all. he didn't understand this. well shit, i thought, maybe it isn't as obvious as i thought.??

next there was stafon. he could barely figure out how to copy and paste the address from the email i sent him into the address bar. this was an immediate sign he was slightly clueless. (sorry stafon) when he did finally get the new site on his screen, there was no sign of photo's loading or even the button's to select where to go. well shit again! maybe the new slowshirts site is too confusing?

as soon as it's up please let me know if it makes sense to the rest of you.. for some reason i'm thinking it will.
my first 2 guinea pigs were a little on the______ side..

stephen is adding new photos to the slowshirts photo section over the next week, so go check out scenes from the recent brit invasion! here's a little insight.. bars, beer, basil , bathroom graffitti and boats.
(this is all i can give up right now. you must check out em' out and see for yourself.)
i had a great weekend with my mail order friends from seattle! thanks cori, jenny and johnny!
we saw music, (ilovepolkadotchokealot) skater girls, drank at jock bars,
raided the goodwill, ten hours of olympia homo madness, visited spar bar heaven, went bush jumping! (ilovefemaleofficer's) and went back in time to highschool!
donuts, well drinks, pholympia, onion rings, water fountains, naps and taco smell fueled our journey. wow.
if you too would like your mother to travel to the future and purchase some nice people who will like you and be your friend, contact alex
dunn at mcadunn@hotmail.com and he'll tell you how! it really works!




the casa que pasa show IS down! thanks casa staff for everything. photo's of the show will be up soon.

well it's starting to get cold here on guemes, and heated nights are again in demand. good bye summer, i'm off to go hunt down some firewood.