Well, Well, Well. Why are you here reading this? SLOW LORIS SHIRTS is no longer going to be using this blog. i have a new site, same address though, slowshirts.com and there is a new blog attached to the front page. BUT i do love the wonderful green of this place, maybe i will still trek through here every so often and write. Please go see the new slowshirts.com face lift if you haven't already! it's orange!

you and i both know that slow loris isn't the coolest girl on the block.
she isn't computer savy, and can barely figure out how to use the basic photoshop that came on her computer.
her web site isn't clever or flashy.
her shirts are displayed as simple scans, without giving the slightest inclination of how they are positioned on the shirt.
she has a blogspot for god's sake, if that didn't say enough..
BUT, i must say, in the entire year slowshirts has been on the internet, NEVER, EVER has there been so many strangers peeking around this place. this simple, not so clever place.

let's see october 8th was it?
yes.
i was complaining about the low, low number of people visiting slowshirts.
ELEVEN in one day, an all time low.
but yesterDAY, why 239 people stopped by! and since midnight? why 78 already!


many thanks go to justin fines at demo design for posting a link at newstoday.

i was wondering why i had so much web traffic,
and then found out the photo i submitted three years ago to designiskinky was finally up...

go check it out here:

 http://www.designiskinky.com/mugshot/mugshots.php3  

*HEY!

all of you livejournal people, (nobabies, jorgeregula and many other's) i want to thank you.
by linking me to your sites you have you have upped slowshirt traffic 300%. !
now, none of you bought anything, but that's not the point. i just appreciate your eyes, browsing on through..
thankyouisay. and if i had a links page, why, i'd link to you too.
but i don't.

so i can't.


last night melody, mariah and i carved pumpkins.
we then followed this carving partay by roasting and eating ALL the seeds from the THREEpumpkin's we carved.

and today,
i have shit THREEpumpkin's worth of seeds.
but hot damn!
it's all worth it.

..and girls? how do you feel?




OOOH! that gives me an idea! october button special!

the first five people to email me with the sentence "my how the pumpkin seeds burn" in the subject bar,
will get " 3free-shinynew-buttons!" that's a,.... hmm let's see here, .30 cents for parts, 6.5 cents for labor, a 5 cent envelope, 3 minutes of my time, 10 cents to the homeless and wine fund, postage, SHIT!
THAT's A dollar and some odd cent VALUE! don't pass this up.
america loves free!
and so do you unitedkingdom!
...soft punch to the chin...
get in here you!

hey kendall-wishy-neck! shout out!
how's the art farm going?

I have purchased a button machine that will be delivered to my front door any day now.
slow loris buttons will soon be for sale.
howaboutthat.
buttons.

psssssst!
threadless is going to print the microscope t shirt i submitted to their site.
this is still a secret though, so don't tell anyone yet.
*more later*


meanwhile, back in the slo lo garage... i have a new design printed.
it's the same as the poster i have up for sale (which is now out of stock)
the only difference is there is an old tape recorder drawn below the letter bubble on the t shirt.
i've only printed 30 or so on navy blue t shirts and also on some navy sweatshirts.
it won't be posted on the site for a few ? so this is your chance to grab it first.
if you want one, i have s, m , L and xL available.
the sweatshirts are also only twenty bucks (same as the tee's) this month. then when i post the actual design on the site they will go up to 25.. so if you trust me, even though you can't view the actual design (once again, see the poster i have up at the site, and then add a drawing of a tape recorder) you should take advantage of this fabulous deal.
to do this, just order any ol' shirt off the site in the correct size, and in the "special instructions" section of your order form (this is the key, don't forget this part) write "i want the mystery shirt" and i will sent you one in the size you submitted.
i will also include a special "good job prize" with your order for following instructions so well...

i'm #2! i'm #2!
i got second place in the yayhooray.com t shirt competition.
i'm pretty surprised.
i never win anything, but i guess THIS IS keeping up with the tradition, i mean it is SECOND place.
i'm #2! i'm #2!

so i was printing t shirts today in my garage when i heard a loud rumble.
it was Yosarian Day stopping by on his way home from work to say hello on his motorcycle!

"so jess," he said. "i wanted to see if you wanted to go on a ride around the block?"

of course i said "YES!!!" and i grabbed my bicycle helmut, slapped on my leg warmer's, scarf and my warm multi colored vest and we were off.

now to you who don't know, i have NEVER EVER BEEN on a motorcyle before, so i was a little scared. i've had a long fascination and love/lust with the motorcyle, (they're me favorite thing to draw and print on t shirts..) but have never had the chance to ride one, surprised?

well, i lost my scarf somewhere on edens road between the cow pasture and the crossroads, but it was sooooo much fun! holy shit, i'm addicted. i bet my reoccurring dream about taking apart my dad's green plastic lawn mower and building a shiny motorcyle out it's remains will resurface tonight while i sleep.

did i mention IGOTTORIDEONAMOTORCYCLETODAY? well idid.

wow. only eleven people visited slowshirts today. E-L-E-V-E-N.!!!

i suck.

maybe it's time to beg...?

"i know the summer season is drawing to a close, BUT PLEASE STILL BUY MY T-SHIRTS! "
(this way, i can buy a hundred hooded sweatshirts to print on and sell back to you, wouldn't you like that?)

...and yes. i know this plea is a shot in the dark seeing as though only "E-L-E-V-E-N" people are reading it.

go11!

if anyone could PLEASe TELL Me WHY i have been sneezing ALL DAy, i would be forever thankful.

insomnia.

time to make a list.

what i found at the thrift stores this weekend:

(i'm hoping this will take the place of counting sheep)

1.red, white and turquoise striped sheets and orange, yellow and blue striped pillowcases. how very patriotic of me?
2. a strange lamp of a drunk hobo who's nose lights up.
3. a leather bag without sides i'll use for carrying firewood.
4.pre-made educational slides of plants to go with my microscope.
5. the "solid gold music trivia" game
6.earrings that look like a pair of fishing lures
7. a roll of never been opened contact paper with a fake linoleum print.
8.a picture puzzle of a deer in the forest
9.driving gloves that are skin color..ugly as shit, but soo comfortable!
10. a book about the history of the camera.

the end

NOT ONLY is stephen adding new photo's, but he's adding them to the new slowshirts web site!
it's being made exactly one year to the day slow loris shirts decided to go high tech and get a site.

i asked a few friends to go to the address of where the new site is sitting and have a look around, and each person had a problem.

first there was aaron, now he's a little slow, so i don't take what he says to heart often. he said it took a long time for the photo on the front page to load. i informed him that it wasn't just "a photo", but 38 photo's and if he had clicked the arrow's above the picture he could have flipped thru them all. he didn't understand this. well shit, i thought, maybe it isn't as obvious as i thought.??

next there was stafon. he could barely figure out how to copy and paste the address from the email i sent him into the address bar. this was an immediate sign he was slightly clueless. (sorry stafon) when he did finally get the new site on his screen, there was no sign of photo's loading or even the button's to select where to go. well shit again! maybe the new slowshirts site is too confusing?

as soon as it's up please let me know if it makes sense to the rest of you.. for some reason i'm thinking it will.
my first 2 guinea pigs were a little on the______ side..

stephen is adding new photos to the slowshirts photo section over the next week, so go check out scenes from the recent brit invasion! here's a little insight.. bars, beer, basil , bathroom graffitti and boats.
(this is all i can give up right now. you must check out em' out and see for yourself.)
i had a great weekend with my mail order friends from seattle! thanks cori, jenny and johnny!
we saw music, (ilovepolkadotchokealot) skater girls, drank at jock bars,
raided the goodwill, ten hours of olympia homo madness, visited spar bar heaven, went bush jumping! (ilovefemaleofficer's) and went back in time to highschool!
donuts, well drinks, pholympia, onion rings, water fountains, naps and taco smell fueled our journey. wow.
if you too would like your mother to travel to the future and purchase some nice people who will like you and be your friend, contact alex
dunn at mcadunn@hotmail.com and he'll tell you how! it really works!




the casa que pasa show IS down! thanks casa staff for everything. photo's of the show will be up soon.

well it's starting to get cold here on guemes, and heated nights are again in demand. good bye summer, i'm off to go hunt down some firewood.

well, i guess i'm not taking down the casa show after all.. they asked if i would keep it up until the end of the month.
so if you didn't get the chance to check it out, now you can..

i know some of you are waiting for me to take it down so you can buy some of the shirts that were up on the walls, but it just isn't gonna happen. i apologize, but i need to keep everything together for a show next month i had forgotten about. after that i'll sell all the shirts i have had on display, just in time for xmas! happy?

(and fritz i have not forgotten about you, this message is directed towards you too..)

i'm taking down the casa que pasa show today.
thank you to everyone who went to see it and wrote or called with comments.
check out anderson's on guemes island during the month of october and november
for a new show i'm putting up which will hopefully include paintings and drawings i've been working on.

i am currently house sitting this weekend so i get to watch all the tv my heart desires!
it's amazing how many reality shows there are..and i love them all. i have no problem admitting my love for the bood tube,
i have recognized my sickness, and this is why i myself do not own a television. if i did i would NEVER get anything done. i should be preparing stencils today and drawing new designs, but instead while the sun is shining outside, i am typing on the computer and watching reruns of trading spaces. life is sooooo good. tonight on mtv2 courtney love is going to be playing her favorite videos and of course i will be there through it all! i know she was a semi-friend with jeff buckley so i'm hoping she'll throw a few of his videos up. last night alecks (also a guemetoidian with no t.v.) showed up for food and entertainment... we watched the anna nicole show (i insisted), video's, old movies and ??! god i can't remember. unfortunately, my tv extraveganza only last's until sunday, then i have to return home and fill orders to all you t shirt buyers...

(once again, please excuse misspellings)

check this girl out.
she can draw!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jorgeregula/

stephen left early this morning to journey back to england.
so sad, he forgot his wicker-wiener, but we had a great time with pictures to boot..

The Gift Machine will be playing at the Crocodile in Seattle this thursday night, (that's tomorrow).
Lets' all go.
i want to see cori, jenny, johnny, a.p., nicole, mariah and melody there.
this is my wish.

i miss my sister erin, she's far away in brussels.
if you see her, say hello..

i've submitted 8 shirts at threadless that are now up,
go check 'em out and vote!

they're at threadless.com

*someone added my site to yayhooray links..thanks!?!

so the new designs i did are not up at threadless.com yet, but will be soon. (today? tomorrow?)
i have submitted 5 different ones..be on the look out, i could really use your votes.

the sky is grey, and the rain is a pourin' here on guemes island.
it's a perfect day to stay inside, drink wine and draw.


yesterday, that brit stephen, nicole and i went on the underground tour in seattle.
i wouldn't recommend it.
we did round off the day with some cold beers in the brown lantern beer garden though,
and i WOULD recommend that..

thanks to all who came to the guemes fall festival..adrienne and her friends and also aaron for helping me load the van at the end of the day!

i submitted another t design to threadless.com yesterday. go check the site out and vote for it. it should be up for voting within the next week. if you haven't visited threadless before you should, it's a site dedicated to any joe who wants to submit a design for voting, highest scorers are printed and sold. if you win there isn't much you get, (something like 3 free shirts) but it does help steer some added traffic to this place..
the best shirt at threadless in my opinion is "doodle" i own it, and the nice feller who designed it is visiting me right now from england. he's also my new webmaster and is gradually going to make slowshirts a more exciting place to visit. i have many photos to add to the photos section, this will be done soon, and i always want more!


**hello to david grocott! (who will probably never read this,) hope you are home safely, and here's a RE- Cap since you've been gone..**

1. you left early for the seattle airport sept. 11th, stephen drove. you listened to howard stern along the way..
2.back on guemes, dogs were walked and the plumber was called
3.stephen returns and we regularly check his watch to see how long you have been on the plane, and how long you have to go.
4.we hike through the woods and visit the gnome pond..photos photos
5. the toilet system had been attacked by tree roots we are told. we must dig.
6. stephen helps me submit a design to threadless
6.5 stephen get's an email from "phreddy vomit" containing the lyrics to the song he wrote! wooooo-weeeee!
7. melody visit's and we watch a movie about men in jail who become gardener's, stephen makes fun.. too sappy.
8. grilled cheese, tomato soup and more black lable beer..mmmmmmm
9. we check his watch one last time and realize you still have at least 8 hours of travel time to go..
10.sleep

keep in touch!

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 1st, (that's tomorrow) from 11am - 2 pm
i'll be selling shirts at the Guemes Island fall festival.
It'll be straight up the road after you get off the ferry, outside of the community center.
All t's will be on sale for the low, low price of 10 dollars.

BUT WAIT! A SPECIAL DEAL!
if you mention the phrase "Hank hung ham on a hanger" i'll sell you a shirt for 5 bucks.
(you can only say it once.)
I am also as usual, willing to trade a shirt for a fine bottle of red wine. (my definition of "fine" starts in the 8 dollar range.)


*once again friends (and younger sister's), please stop notifying me about misspelled words, lack of punctuation and improper word usage.
i already know about it all.

I ALMOST FORGOT!!(well actually i did..)

YESTERDAY WAS MICHAEL JACKSON'S BIRTHDAY!

( i was so busy plugging Aaron's b'day that i forgot who was REALLY important.)
In honor of this day, i am planning on buying a new outfit for my "before-surgery-off-the-wall-era M.J. doll".
I saw a few for sale in bellingham at the antique mall. i think it's between the black parachute pant ensemble OR the silver straight jacket get-up.
Tough decision, real tough.

.

So, i would be selling t shirts this weekend at bumbershoot if i hadn't been so unnecessarily rejected..
if anyone goes, let me know what the vendors were like. i'm curious what kind of booths made it in.
probably hemp hat's, cheap silver jewelry and tie dyed tee's.. AGAIN.

doesn't anyone get sick of the same things for sale, year after year?

bumbershit.

(....guess i'm still a little bitter about it all. i really wanted to get in and make some needed $.)

I know i said that i'd have new designs up this week, but i've been having a lot of guests stopping by for a few days here and there, and i'm a little behind in production. i promise new shirts will be up soon though..really. ido.

*still waiting for more photos to be sent in of you all wearing slow loris gear, remember, free t shirt to the first ten that send photos for me to post on the site.*

HEY!!!!!
IF YOU'RE IN SEATTLE< GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO MR. AARON POWER! IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY AND HE'S TURNING AN OLD 32 YEARS!! ( he might try and say he's only 31, but this is his little lie he is feeding you, he has problems with the truth..)
Don'T recognize his name? WELL THAT's BECAUSE HE GOES BY THE ALIAS "A.J. POWER ILLUSTRaTIONS", so KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HIM< HE LIKES TO HANG OUT ON CAPITAL HILL AND PAINT THINGS ON HIS EASEL WITH PRETTY PAINTS>HIS FAVORITE COLORs to paint with are BROWN AND RED< SAY HELLO< HE LOVES TO CHAT ABOUT ANYTHING..Especially ABOUT HIS TIME IN THE PEACE COrps! ASK HIM ABOUT AFRICA! ASK HIM ABOUT WHERE HE WORKS! ASK HIM WHY HE PAINTS IN ONLY ONE COLOR! ASK! ASK !ASK! SIT ON THE CORNER WITH him all DAY WHILE HE PAINTS FOR SPARE CHANGE AND KEEP HIM COMPANY! HE'LL JUST LOVE THAT! TELL HIM LORIS SENT YOU AND HE'LL GIVE YOU A FREE POSTCARD, BUY YOU LUNCH!!
(oh to be young and twenty seven again, hunh Aaron?? It's ALL down hill from here mr. power.happy birthday! love jess)

During the month of August, there is a Slow Loris t shirt and poster show up at Casa Que Pasa in Bellingham.

If you're in the area, drop by and check it out, buy yourself a potato burrito and a margarita.

Casa is located on railroad avenue in the heart of downtown Bellingham.

[8/15/2002 4:13:49 PM | jessica lynch]

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aug.15,2002

-the whatsup! design is sold out, but will be available on red shirts next week.

-all the posters are sold out.

-the cb radio design is very low in size and color selection. email me first to see if i have it.

-dirks hog is also low but will have more sizes available in navy and yellow next week.

-the powerlines shirt also comes in long sleeve.

I also wanted to remind everyone that i'm sending the first 10 people who email me a photo of themself wearing a slowloris shirt, a free airplane t in their size *(please note i will be posting these photos in the picture section of slowshirts.com so you must be okay with this to get a free shirt..)

any other questions can be answered be emailing me at jlynch@fidalgo.net
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hey! if you're in the seattle area this weekend go to town hall saturday night the 17th at seven and vote for the poster corianton and i designed together for the monorail poster contest. if you want to see what it looks like, go to corianton.com and take a gander.


i still don't have a LINKS page so i will post some here for now..

www.prankmonkey.co.uk ....this is stephens site..he graciously helps me with my web site updating and designing, and i can't thank him enough. he'll be coming to the great island of guemes in september for a visit, i just might have to buy him a beer or two..

www.corianton.com....this is cori's site filled with free fonts, music, photos and writing. cori is the nicest, coolest most talented boy in all of the world. he's also good to his mother. AND i've been told he's the mayor of seattle.

www.unflown.com ... this is the infamous jacob covey's photos, illustrations, and design. he's a clever one.

www.ingredientx.com ...go to the "tales of mere existence" page on this site, "jealous" is my favorite clip.

www.presstube.com .... one of the best sites ever..

www.1000journals.com ...i'm gonna get one next week! yeeeeee-haw!

www.nostarclothing.com ...this is erik's site, another small t shirt business, operating out of oregon. check it out, it's full of fancy.

alright, that's it for now.